You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
