I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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