Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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