no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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