i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
