Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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