you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
