she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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