i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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