Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
