Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
