Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize