I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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