Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
