Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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