so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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