He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
