just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
