i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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