i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
