i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need a burrito and a hug.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
