I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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