who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
