you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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