I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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