Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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