just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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