Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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