I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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