at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
