thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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