I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
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Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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