worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
