so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize