You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
