Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Randomize
