I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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