This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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