i barfeds in our rink
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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