i think i have herpe
just one?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
