She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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