i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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