I haven't been this sober since birth.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
