Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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