I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
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that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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