Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
