girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
