If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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