Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
