Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
