I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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