I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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