shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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