We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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