Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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