I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
