worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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