i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
