At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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