lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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