i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
