god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
