it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
