i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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