Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
