Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
