stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
