I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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