3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
