I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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